I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
