I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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