I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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