why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
