just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
