Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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