Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
