have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
