Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
