Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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