He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ladies don't puke and tell
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