happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
