you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
