Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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