im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
