Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
