I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
