don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
