My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
