i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want a musical about memes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
