I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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