how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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