i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
