"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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