Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
