Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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