I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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