Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
