So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
