Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
