he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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