We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
