Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
