Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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