Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize