Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
My cat gives me a boner
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
