that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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