Taylor Swift is so right about you.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
