Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
