Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
