Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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