Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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