Swine flu. Run for my life!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
