I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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