can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
