i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
