I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
