Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
