Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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