I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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