Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
