You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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