I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
