I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
