shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
