Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
