When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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