Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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