if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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