I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
