No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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