Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize