Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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