hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
