True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
