he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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