does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
