I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
