is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
