sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
